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But it happened and I’m here.  I’m Donald A. Jack, and I play drums (sounds like and opening to AA).  I came across the drums in a most unusual way, but Jamie said I can’t write sexual things in my bio so I’ll just have to skip that part, but my passion for playing percussion instruments is deeply rooted.  As a youngster, when I was not using Halloween candy to create my masterpieces on the wall or working on massive interior design with my brother Stephen (seeing just which type of Comet and bean bag bean goes with living room rug), I was banging my way into the realm of drums.  Many a Lincoln Log can was to receive the wrath of a pounding.  If it was round, and hopefully had a tin bottom, I was beating it to blow the band (later done using fire, but that’s another story).

            Ask anyone where my musical influences come from, give three guesses, and most will guess wrong.  You’ll hear “Beatles!”  “Monkees!”  “Weird-Al Yankovic”  Actually, only Stephen would get it right.  My initial musical influences were Floyd Cramer, and Herb with his trumpet pals (he called them the Tijuana Brass, but I’m not interested in his mistake).  Yep, cool guys one and all, but that’s where the drumming drive began and that’s where I go to relive my beginnings.

Ok, pounding the living tin out of a can does not a drummer make, and it’s safe to say that I taught myself every thing Ringo Starr knows.  But September 2005 is the 25th anniversary of my first step from can to drum.  The moment of truth happened in the first week of September 1980.  A loud guy named Al Mascoso let me hit a drum for the first time and then said “If you ever do that again in class while I’m talking, I will rip Jamie Allison’s heart out!”  The temptation was great but I refrained.  But that day was the moment I became a drummer, and aside from the time I created OFF-TV for a friend across the way, it was one of the most spectacular moments in my life.

            I was two years into the Beatles by this time and my study of them was purely enjoyment.  It must be pointed out right here, the concept that the Beatles are easy, no style, and a beginners band, is the word of those who just don’t get it.  Michelangelo created the Statue of David from a huge block of stone.  If you ever see this statue (he’s nude) you’ll understand why it is documented by all scholars as the following:  When studying statues and sculptures, once David has been studied, there is no need to go any further.  From definition to form, there has not been and never will be another like it.  In music (to me) this is the Beatles.  You will never hear any one refer to “the next Oasis”.  And you will never hear “They will be bigger than The Village People!”.  The Beatles are always the reference point to a considered great change, as once Elvis was until The Beatles came along.  There has been only one band that was bigger than the Beatles, and that was (none other than) the Beatles (in 1995 The Beatles were the top grossing entertainment act of the year with the Anthology release.  Not bad for a band that hasn’t taken a dump together let alone record albums in 25 years).  90% of all musical acts today owe their style, start, and inspiration to the Beatles.  While I do find tons of great music from all points of the style spectrum, due credit has to be given (along with eating up space on this web site).  Besides, Jamie does not give the Beatles any decent showing as he spends all his time developing his “Foot Odor Rock” style.

            So what does this have to do with drums?  Well, nothing really, but I spent a lot of time crafting out the Ringo style.  Not that it was the best, or the hardest, or the most challenging, or even that it was worth stomping on a cactus.  It was fun and it kept my drumming spirit alive.

            Over the course of time I learned the snare drum in a concert setting.  But it was when I moved to high school that my love for drums really took off.  First I was quickly demoted to the most difficult instrument in the percussion section, the cymbals.  I say difficult, not because they are hard to master, but because it is difficult to find an idiot stupid enough to play them a full marching season.  That’s why it was no surprise that I was joined by Doug Riedy (who I should mention is one of the greatest guys I have ever had the privilege of being friends with, and I hope he takes that to heart because I intend to get a little harsh in the poke fun area at his expense).  But this year was a bumper crop as Jeff Pepper grabbed Dave Bannett and demanded to be humiliated by playing cymbals.  Dave relented, and then kicked the crap out of him daily.  Jeff was soon seen marching in Q-tip hat, cymbals, and facial welts from unknown ants.

            As the years went by, I moved up in the chain, and finally reached the marching snare drum in 1984.  This was by default, but it proved to be some of the greatest shot gun training I would get in my entire career.  Guys like Dave Bannett, Doug Farrar, Paul Galonsky, and Judd Gleckman were all around me during this time.  They were more talented individually than I would ever be in my life, but I had a part time job at Winn Dixie in the Produce department, and they did not!  I would learn and grow and enjoy visits to drum shops where owners would see me and all but hand me their best merchandise (come to think of it, I believe they did that on one occasion too.  I think it was the donuts).

            I was given my first drum set in 1984.  It was a Tama Superstar, mahogany, 5 piece kit.  I was so happy, thrilled, ecstatic, and I sat behind that kit, closed my eyes, and pounded out the most horrible sounds known to man (and Mark Baldel).  But I had my kit and I was set.  First thing on the agenda:  Get a modem for my VIC-20 and start early on the internet.  Bad choice (as a 300 baud modem is like eating an apple without teeth), didn’t last long, and it was a drummin’ I was a goin’.

            Before I graduated high school, I was presented with the greatest drumline Piper High School would ever have.  It was so complete and I was in my glory.  Please access The Piper High School Drumline Page for the complete story, so to speak.  Some things are just better left unwritten.  But I digest:

            My first moment on the kit in a rock band setting came on graduation night, June 1986.  I was the drummer for the grad song “The Best of Times” by Styx.  I don’t know how it reflected the feeling of class of ’86 for everyone, but for me, it was the best of times (which gives you a good indication how my life was to turn out).

            No bio of mine would be complete without mentioning the band of all time, that never was, but is and is always: Audacity.  Now I know what you’re going to ask, but even if you don’t I’m gonna tell you anyway.  Audacity was kind of the brainchild of Stephen and myself.  He came up with the idea, I came up with the name, and together we beat the crap out of Jeff pepper (however that happened years before).  But we signed up to play in the talent contest at Piper High school in 1987.  After winning that (shut up Doug, your incorrect opinions were not asked for, nor required), Audacity went on to bigger and better things.  We began with rehearsals for a performance at the 4th of July celebration in Sunrise, Florida, made two practice tapes in the garage, and split up one week before the show.  Hey, at least we didn’t linger on, like The Rutles.

            But I was actually heartbroken.  Audacity was to remain my band (most off because that was my bass drum head and I wasn’t going to change it) and I used the name in anything I did to act like it was real.  I didn’t mind, and it worked so well that I even had a magazine put out entitled Audacity that is still in publication today.  Granted it’s a financial magazine produced by an investment firm, but hey, what they don’t know won’t hurt me.

            Recently, in the past few years, I was turned down by Stephen Jack when trying to join his bands.  He was under the gun, and as he told me "You just don't suck enough."  Jamie was then immediately picked up, without delay.  His Foot Odor Rock style was just what Steve needed.  No talent, but that something special to make people say "Fine!  Fine!  Just get him out of here!"  The gamble paid off as Steve has toured all of America with his bands and been paid very well, without having to play a lick.  Granted it's not very musically inspiring, but money is money and you have to start somewhere. 

So there you have it.  25 years later and still playing.  I consider myself a professional as I have been paid for my play on some occasions.  I have recorded in a real studio, and I have had a very successful student who knew zilch about drums (like Jamie when he first started) and can hold her own in a group of intermediate drummers (unlike Jamie now).  I love to talk drums and teach methods.  I’m in the military, so I travel a bit.  I currently play in MaxxBrass, a brass quintet that got less than it bargained for when I asked if I could join. Got some questions or just want some information from an expert in the field, please contact Barry Wom, but if you can’t find him, you can reach me at dj9091@hotmail.com

            Remember, Old drummers never die, they just watch Joe Lasalla play and automatically get an ego boost.  Bert used to eat doorknobs very rapidly and then throw them up in Ernie’s bed waking him to ask him what his toe nail should look like.  Not something to do with drums, but I thought a little humor would go nicely here.